The following is not legal advice

 

 Podcast #28 - Divorced Dad Minute - Divorce 101:Mentors and Father Figures Are Everywhere [1:00m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (2402)

The quickest way to learn a new skill is to find a mentor or “father figure” who can show you the ropes and put you on the path to the shortcut.
 
Mentors and father figures are everywhere and, you know, having a mentor and a father figure help you out while you're going through a really difficult time when you are mad during divorce can one of the most helpful things that you can do for yourself. 
 
Men don't really have the same sort of support network set up that women do.  Women can easily sit around in the kitchen table and help each other out. Men however won't even stick their head out of the car to ask for directions.
 
It's really important to have a coach, somebody to help you through this process. Get a coach during divorce. 

During divorce, custody, access, and child support matters, divorced dads often don’t realize, that there are two elements to every separation and/or divorce. Even when you are returning to Family Court to re-visit, modify and terminate a Court order.

These elements are:

1) The Family / Educational Problems that Family Court can't solve…

2) The Legal Problems that Family Court will attempt to solve…

The best way to understand and appreciate how this podcast can help can help you and how our other services are organized is by way of an example:

If you were a professional athlete, you'd have a coach and a manager. Your coach would address educational and performance issues and your manager would address business issues.

Fathers Resources services follow the exact same model:

1) Separation & Divorce Management Counseling / Coaching - Provided per our Client Services Fee Agreement. These services address educational and performance issues.

2) Legal Services & Representation  - Provided by, and supervised by Lawyers to address your legal problems.

You have come to us to learn the ideas, insights and strategies of successful divorced dads. It is no secret that divorced dads have a really hard time in Family Court. However, for many years we've worked with these fathers, teaching them methods of approaching their problems. By integrating these services and methods, these divorced dads, "optimized"  their approach for the best chance for success.

Family Law problems often cost a lot of money. You will want to know how to best manage costs by understanding what has worked for fathers and what has worked against them. You will want to understand how to best work with your lawyer, and how Family Court operates. This approach "optimizes" your chances for success.

While no one can guarantee an outcome at Family Court, I can confidently say that the father who applies what we teach stands a far better chance than the one who is uneducated, and knows nothing about working with Lawyers and the Family Court.

Education = Knowledge = Power…

This approach is also based upon the same model of self-education and community resources that women used in the 1970's to educate themselves to begin solving their problems in Family Court. The approach women took 35 years ago created an entire industry to service their needs. Consequently, women do not face many of the problems men face, when it comes to finding help geared to their needs.

Men face HUGE challenges finding such help - For example,we found that out from first hand experience many years ago as a divorced dad and step-mom. We could not find help, so together, we decided to create these unique services that can refer lawyer and other professionals specifically geared to addressing men's needs.

Next, we began researching what worked for men in these situations. What were the methods, tactics, strategies, approaches and ideas that actually work. What we found was this: Kids want peace in their family. And so does Family Court. However dads seemed to be unable to properly address, explain and voice how their plan made peace for their children, while their ex-wives plan did not really address that concern of children.

Being adult children of divorce this made ABSOLUTE sense to both of us. It spoke to our hearts…

More often than not, mom's plan is to do anything necessary to get rid of Dad. Not always - there are lots of great mom's out there who don't act that way. But the dads I see, it is usually their major problem.

And there is a way to better address these issues: With us you will learn the immense value in defusing situations by learning how to "WAGE PEACE" inside and outside Family Court. You will hear me in talk about this strategy again and again in our support group meetings and in our audios.

When you take it to heart, you will begin to see the situation shift. It may take time, depending on how bad the problems are. But those dads who use this approach more often see results. Few cases are so extreme that nothing works. But there are a few - thankfully they are in the minority.

The following will better help you to understand the enormous value of integrating this approach into your situation.

The emotional state you and your former wife are in; the way you and your former wife see things as a result of your emotional state; your verbal and written communication and negotiation skills, the choices you make, how you react to each others way of seeing things, communication style, and values.

Depending on where you are at there are possible family dynamics problems, personal performance problems and/or problems when it comes to the reasonable application of problem solving skills.

As your Separation / Divorce Management Performance Coaches, we act as a sounding board for your ideas, making helpful suggestions to improve your outcome by teaching you how to use your intimate knowledge of how your ex-wife views the world, in order to create helpful tactics and strategies that "wage peace" as opposed to war over your children.

We’re very insistent that client's act from an educated and enlightened perspective, not an angry one. We've developed a "separation and divorce management system that we call Divorce 101 which will help you see things with a fresh set of eyes.

The philosophy and process of Divorce 101 will give you the ways and means to deal with the natural anger you feel over injustice, and give you specific strategies that have helped countless fathers to succeed in their matters, by dealing with their issues, and seeing the situation from a child's perspective.

Go download the special report called Divorce 101 to help introduce you to these concepts. Take some time to review this document and ask yourself how you can apply what you've learned. Feel free to ask us your questions at any time at http://www.DivorcedDadWeekly.com

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call
Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts

The following is not legal advice

 

 Podcast #27 - Divorced Dad Minute - When it’s Really Not Going Well – Stop Everything And Reassess: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (310)

Sometimes it feels like fathers have no rights whatsoever: Ever get the feeling as a divorced dad that you are spinning your wheels in Family Court? Do you feel like you are losing ground, things are getting worse instead of better? Sometimes a case loses momentum, traction and acceleration.

Perhaps it is time to ask yourself - When is the last time I have sat down to do a Cost Benefit Analysis? How much pain, for how much gain?

When it comes to custody, access and/or child support issues have you achieved everything possible this go-round in Family Court?

Sometimes a case has a limited shelf-life. Sometimes it is time to stop. Sometimes that is the very best move to make, because all the problems and weaknesses in your case that happen before a Court order is granted go away after a final order. That’s because Judge’s don’t look behind orders, they go forward from them.

However sometimes it is time to ADJUST. To do things differently.

The point is this: When it's really not going well, stop everything and reassess: Whether it be you're having a hard time finding your lawyer or you're having a hard time with a particular judge or you're having a hard time in your negotiation, what do you think you ought to do? First of all, stop everything. Reassess things.  Also, you've got to continue to believe that there is a solution.  Start thinking positively.

Attitude is 99% of what wins and loses a case for divorced dads. The cases that have the most successful outcomes for the divorced dads we’ve worked with, in every single one, ATTITUDE has been the one thing that has made all the difference in the world in turning a losing case into a winning one.

THEREFORE - Don't reinvent the wheel. Do what works, lose what doesn't. That is the “golden rule” of success when you are a divorced dad.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call
Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts

The following is not legal advice

 

 Podcast #26 - Divorced Dad Minute - Divorce 101: Step 7: Litigation [1:00m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (299)

When all else fails, it becomes necessary to take the only step left:

STEP #7: Litigation - The absolute last resort. If you have taken the time to methodically work through these steps properly, you can establish that you have the skills and the willingness to work things out.

Sometimes, it will be the most effective step. But you MUST not simply skip over the other steps. By objectively working your way through the steps that seem most appropriate, you will enhance the prospect of reaching this goal:

Winning = Peace for Your Child. That’s the power of “WAGING PEACE” over children instead of WAR…becoming a super effective advocate, focused solely on the ULTIMATE BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILD

We’ve been often asked the question: “Why should you wage peace?  Aren't we there to wage war and really like rip the other person a new one?”

Absolutely NOT. That’s what destroys a child’s heart, mind and soul - Being caught in the middle of adult conflict. You’ve got to remember.  Children love mom and dad and when you're in the courtroom, warring against each other, you're actually ripping your child apart.

Children cope to the degree that their parents cope. And if both parents cope badly, children begin to EMULATE and IMMITATE that which they see their two primary role models present as “normal”, socially responsible behaviour. Children will either assume that this is the sensible way to behave, when in fact it only provokes and inflames matters.
 
The cardinal rule here is this: You are the adult. You had a childhood. It is now your kid’s turn to be a child. it's no longer about you. 

It's all about your kid - Show them your best qualities, even when it’s hard to do so.
 
Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call
Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts

The following is not legal advice

Download link for Action Guide #22

Our topic for this Sunday's call is “The Divorced Dad Roadmap - The Basics - Part 2”. Tonight's call continues The Divorced Dad Roadmap training calls for 2008. The Divorced Dad Roadmap is a process in which you can begin your preparations and review your progress as you prepare for Family Court proceedings. We will continue with the process of analysis - asking ourselves a better set of questions designed to optimize our Court case and chances of success that deal with THE BASICS of navigating inside Family Court.

In the Divorced Dad Roadmap, we teach using a roadmap and compass as an analogy: The Divorced Dad  picks a "Compass Heading", completing the steps then moving on to the next compass heading. This gives the divorced dad his own "ROADMAP" to follow to success in Family Court. At each "Compass Heading", the divorced dad has to answer a series of questions:

1) The main question first (MAIN QUESTION); then

2) The questions that support the main questions answer (SUPPORTING QUESTIONS); then

3) Finally, the divorced dad compares re-evaluates his first answer to the main question.

Has his answer to the MAIN QUESTION changed? If so why? What changed the answer?

This is the process of analysis: Ask better questions to get better answers.

Here's the questions to ask yourself this week:

COMPASS HEADING # 1 - APPEARANCE

Question 1  How does the Judge see me?

1.    What does the Judge see when he looks at me?
2.    What personality traits do I exhibit in Family Court?
3.    What have I observed in Family Court?

COMPASS HEADING # 2 - DEMEANOUR

Question 2  How does the Judge hear me?

1.    Am I focused or am I whining and complaining?
2.    Am I wasting valuable Courtroom Time?
3.    Am I on my best behaviour before, after & during Court?

COMPASS HEADING # 3 - PHYSICAL READINESS

Question 3  Am I looking after myself?

1.    Do I look like a healthy, fit and capable father?
2.    Am I in a stable situation with regular routines?
3.    Am I a positive role model for our children?

COMPASS HEADING # 4 - MENTAL PREPAREDNESS

Question 4   Do I have a balanced perspective?

1.    Would I pass an alcohol and/or drug test?
2.    Could I pass random testing for alcohol and/or drugs?
3.    Do I keep good company or with undesireables?

COMPASS HEADING # 5 - EMOTIONAL FITNESS

Question 5   What is my natural temperament?

1.    Do i see myself accurately and as others see me?
2.    Do i exercise self control and discipline easily?
3.    Do I rise to the bait and provocation easily?

COMPASS HEADING # 6 - EXIT STRATEGY

Question 6   How do I get out of Family Court fast?

1.    What is my bottom line exit strategy?
2.    What is the quickest way to settle matters?
3.    Am I prepared to accept that it is never really over?

COMPASS HEADING # 7 - MIRED IN THE BATTLEFIELD

Question 7   What’s must I implement now?

1.    Am I really accomplishing anything?
2.    Can I really accomplish anything else?
3.    Is it time to settle and get ready for the next time?

By taking some time to reflect on better quality questions related to tactics and strategy, divorced dads can improve their chances of success in Family Court through optimization: Looking for the flaws in their case and improving upon them. You can't change others, but you can change yourself, and hence better position yourself for success.

That's the power of asking yourself better questions - You get better answers, solutions, tactics, strategies and raise the level of your "game" because you have devised a superior gameplan.

The Divorced Dad Road Map: "The Basics - Part 2" will teach you the skills you will need to successfully navigate through Family Court and its bureaucratic organization and administration. You will find that the teleseminar training call will help you to focus and gain clarity about your situation. Join us on the next TeleSeminarClick here:

Next Divorced Dad Weekly TeleSeminar Training Call

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert

The Dynamic Divorce Duo

The following is not legal advice

Download link for Action Guide #21

Our topic for this Sunday's call is “The Divorced Dad Roadmap - The Basics - Part 1”. Tonight's call continues The Divorced Dad Roadmap training calls for 2008. The Divorced Dad Roadmap is a process in which you can begin your preparations and review your progress as you prepare for Family Court proceedings. We will continue with the process of analysis - asking ourselves a better set of questions designed to optimize our Court case and chances of success that deal with THE BASICS of navigating inside Family Court.

In the Divorced Dad Roadmap, we teach using a roadmap and compass as an analogy: The Divorced Dad  picks a "Compass Heading", completing the steps then moving on to the next compass heading. This gives the divorced dad his own "ROADMAP" to follow to success in Family Court. At each "Compass Heading", the divorced dad has to answer a series of questions:

1) The main question first (MAIN QUESTION); then

2) The questions that support the main questions answer (SUPPORTING QUESTIONS); then

3) Finally, the divorced dad compares re-evaluates his first answer to the main question.

Has his answer to the MAIN QUESTION changes? If so why? What changed the answer?

This the process of analysis: Ask better questions to get better answers.

Here's the questions to ask yourself this week:

COMPASS HEADING # 1 - OFFENSIVE PLAN

Question 1  What is my Offensive Gameplan?

1.    How do I constantly promote peace?

2.    How can I change myself to be a credible peacemaker?

3.    What is the “ULTIMATE BEST INTERESTS OF CHILDREN”?

COMPASS HEADING # 2 - DEFENSIVE PLAN

Question 2  What is my Defensive Gameplan?

1.    What is my ex-wife’s most likely strategy?

2.    What is my ex-wife’s most likely tactic?

3.    How can I use “waging peace” to defuse her gameplan?

COMPASS HEADING # 3 - MINOR ERRORS

Question 3  What minor errors am I making?

1.    What are my top three minor errors?

2.    What can I do to change the error in my thinking?

3.    What can I do to change the error in my reactions?

COMPASS HEADING # 4 - STUDY

Question 4   What should I study now?

1.    What is my core strength?

2.    How do I improve my core strength?

3.    What area of study must I focus upon?

COMPASS HEADING # 5 - REHEARSE

Question 5   What do I need to rehearse most?

1.    What am I rehearsing first, second and third?

2.    What is my rehearsal schedule?

3.    What tools do I have to evaluate my progress?

COMPASS HEADING # 6 - MEMORIZE

Question 6   What must I memorize first?

1.    What must I memorize before I anything else?

2.    What tools and aids do I have to memorize with?

3.    What have I forgotten, or am most likely to forget?

COMPASS HEADING # 7 - IMPLEMENT

Question 7   What’s must I implement now?

1.    What steps/actions must I implement today?

2.    What shortcuts are available to implementation?

3.    Am I measuring my speed of implementation?

By taking some time to reflect on better quality questions related to tactics and strategy, divorced dads can improve their chances of success in Family Court through optimization: Looking for the flaws in their case and improving upon them. You can't change others, but you can change yourself, and hence better position yourself for success.

The Divorced Dad Road Map: "The Basics" will teach you the skills you will need to successfully navigate through Family Court and its bureaucratic organization and administration. You will find that the teleseminar training call will help you to focus and gain clarity about your situation. Join us on the next TeleSeminarClick here:

Next Divorced Dad Weekly TeleSeminar Training Call

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert

The Dynamic Divorce Duo

The following is not legal advice

Download link for Action Guide #20

Our topic for this Sunday's call is “The Divorced Dad Roadmap - The Fundamentals”. Tonight's call continues The Divorced Dad Roadmap training calls for 2008. The Divorced Dad Roadmap is a process in which you can begin your preparations and review your progress as you prepare for Family Court proceedings. IF the first time you enter a Courtroom is for your first hearing, you just blew it - You've positioned yourself for a HUGE loss and a MISSED opportunity to WIN.

The Key is to have a process of analysis - ask yourself a better question to come up with a better answer. Preparation through asking yourself better quality questions is the FUNDAMENTAL key to all success in life.

Learning how any particular judge conducts proceedings in a Courtroom is FUNDAMENTAL to success when you are a divorced dad. Many divorced dads are completely oblivious to what is going on around them when they are in Family Court, because they have not taken the opportunity to ask themself some very basic questions like:

WINNING

Question 1  The Big Picture: What is Winning?

1.    How do I put the kids first and adults second?

2.    How can I change myself if I can’t change others?

3.    What is “THE ULTIMATE BEST INTERESTS OF CHILDREN?”

THE GAMEPLAN

Question 2   Whose gameplan am I following?

1.    What is my ex-wife’s gameplan?

3.    What is my ex-wife most afraid of losing?

3.    How can I use this in my gameplan?

KNOWING

Question 3  What do I really need to know?

1.    Am I acting on my imagination or knowledge?

2.    What do I need to know NOW?

3.    What do I need to do to get that Knowledge?

STRATEGY

Question 4   What strategy will work best?

1.    What is my definition of strategy?

2.    Do I even have a strategy for any aspect of this matter?

3.    What is my immediate strategy for my first problem?

TACTICS

Question 5   What Tactics have worked before?

1.    What is my definition of tactics?

2.    Do I even have a tactics for any aspect of this matter?

3.    What is my immediate tactic for my first problem?

EXECUTION

Question 6   How do I follow through to win?

1.    What must I do first before I do anything else?

2.    What am I doing to prepare and intensify my focus?

3.    What is my tactic and strategy when I’m unfocused?

ADJUSTING

Question 7   What is & how do I apply the lesson?

1.    What really worked well in the situation?

2.    What could I have done better in the situation?

3.    How do I consolidate gains while making improvements?

By taking some time to reflect on better quaslity questions related to tactics and strategy, divorced dads can improve their chances of success in Family Court through optimization: Looking for the flaws in their case and improving upon them. You can't change others, but you can change yourself, and hence better position yourself for success.

The Divorced Dad Road Map: "The Courtroom" will teach you the skills you will need to successfully navigate through Family Court and its bureaucratic organization and administration. Join us on the next TeleSeminarClick here:

Next Divorced Dad Weekly TeleSeminar Training Call

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert

The Dynamic Divorce Duo

The following is not legal advice

Download link for Action Guide #19

Our topic for this Sunday's call is “The Divorced Dad Roadmap - The Courtroom”. Tonight's call continues The Divorced Dad Roadmap training calls for 2008. The Divorced Dad Roadmap is a process in which you can begin your preparations and review your progress as you prepare for Family Court proceedings. IF the first time you enter a Courtroom is for your first hearing, you just blew it - You've positioned yourself for a HUGE loss and a MISSED opportunity to WIN.

Preparation is the key to all success in life and this holds true for any time you must step inside Family Court for a Judge to render a decision that will affect the lives of your children. learning how any particular judge conducts proceedings in a Courtroom is FUNDAMENTAL to success when you are a divorced dad.Many divorced dads are completely oblivious to what is going on around them when they are in Family Court, because they have not taken the opportunity to learn such simple things as:

WHAT IS THE COURT SCHEDULE?

1. When is the Family Court Scheduled to Convene?

2. Which Court hearings and proceedings can I watch?

3. How do I find out the above information?

HOW DOES THE COURTROOM OPERATE?

1. Who works in this Courtroom?

2. What are the Rules and Procedures in this Courtroom?

3. Who is the Clerk? Who is the Court Reporter?

WHO ARE THE PATICIPANTS IN THE COURTROOM?

1. Who is the Applicant? Who is the Respondent?

2. Do the Parties have lawyers representing? Who are they?

3. Is anyone else participating in the proceeding?

WHAT IS THE PROCEEDING TAKING PLACE?

1. What stage is the proceeding?

2. Is this a conference, a motion or a trial?

3. Is everyone ready to proceed?

WHAT IS THE ATITUDE OF THE JUDGE?

1. What is the demeanor of the Judge?

2. How do the lawyers treat the Judge?

3. How does the Judge rule on issues?

HOW DOES THE JUDGE DEAL WITH GAMESMANSHIP?

1. Does the Judge give everyone fair time?

2. Does the Judge stop games before they begin?

3. What games does this Judge play?

WHAT ORDERS DOES THIS JUDGE MAKE AGAIN & AGAIN?

1. Do you see a pattern in how the Judge rules?

2. Can you predict how this Judge will rule on issues?

3. Can you learn more about this Judge?

A "field trip" to Courtroom can help you learn the necessary insights to being effective in a particular Judge's Courtroom. And you can begin to better understand how knowing these things can improve your chances in Court. It is little known, except by insiders how the way a Courtroom is run can affect the outcomes in terms of Judges' orders at hearings…

The Divorced Dad Road Map: "The Courtroom" will teach you the skills you will need to successfully navigate through Family Court and its bureaucratic organization and administration.Join us on the next TeleSeminarClick here:

Next Divorced Dad Weekly TeleSeminar Training Call

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert

The Dynamic Divorce Duo

The following is not legal advice

 

 Podcast #25 - Divorced Dad Minute - Divorce 101: Step 6: Enrichment [1:00m]: