About Divorced Dad Minute
MEMO: From Danny Guspie – Executive Producer & Co-Host
SUBJECT: What is DivorceDadMinute.com?
I’m an adult child of divorce. If someone had told me that I’d be still facing divorce daily when I began this journey, I would have told them they were crazy. But the apple does not fall far from the tree.
There’s a revolution quietly happening in western civilization. Children like ourselves who grew up in the 1960’s - 1980’s are now approaching middle age. Many “baby boomers” our age us grew up when feminism was not simply about liberation of women, but also that of men from traditional roles and stereotypical thinking.
Somewhere along the line that changed, drastically, becoming institutionalized to the great detriment of children, as their fathers became disenfranchised as the separation and divorce culture grew.
Heidi and I met at a time in mid 1991 when I had been separated for a year, with custody of my daughter Elyenne, and step-son Luc, the son of my then wife Debora, mother of Elyenne. She has been with me every step of the way in this journey – her insights as an adult child of divorce and step-parent to Elyenne and Luc have proven to be invaluable. And in the production of the body of work we have created together, I cannot picture it without her steady influence & contribution.
As a successful divorced dad, having the children with me was not the end of the story, but a new beginning – the flip side of what I went through as a child and all the unanswered questions about my parents painful divorce were revealed over the next several years as I faced ignorance, prejudice, bigotry, and insensitivity.
It’s called MISANDRY: When a man is devalued, simply for being a man, that’s as wrong as it gets. I could not understand why, nor accept it as being OK. So I sought to understand it, as it operates in our daily lives: The institutions, workplaces, homes and especially within the Family Court Legal System.
Why do good men/fathers face such a hard time in Family Court? Mostly because of the history behind the changes in our society over the last 40 years, and the history of women’s suffrage going back about 175 years ago.
Women fought for change. Unfortunately some of the changes have been extreme. And children are paying the price: No Dad in the home = Children raised without an effective male role model who sets limits in a way that is as necessary as the air we breathe.
As a result of my journey, I’ve been a self-funded international divorce reform activist, largely from the proceeds of the substantial practice I’ve built as a senior law clerk, developing the insights, strategies, tactics and thinking needed for men to win in family court.
The first thing you need to understand is that you must wage peace, not war over children in Family Court. Only then can you hold others accountable. Children want peace; they want family; they want to not have to walk on eggshells around their parents, when it comes to having a relationship after separation and divorce with either parent.
They do not want to pick sides, but their young minds can be tricked into doing so.
You can win in Family Court – Don’t let anyone tell you that it is impossible. Because it’s not.
Those willing to do what it takes having success, again and again and again.
I've helped a lot of dads get FAIR COURT ORDERS. I work with some of the finest and most senior of Family Law Lawyers who can get the job done. I’ve also worked with fathers who cannot afford any assistance whatsoever at our many clinics.
50-85% of fathers go through Family Court without a lawyer, because they can’t afford one. I hold that to be unconstitutional in any civilized country that claims to have a Bill of Rights. Legal assistance is an obligation the State must provide and has found to be so many times when seriously challenged in matters before Family Courts.
But how many matters before the Courts can a beleaguered dad effectively wage, when he is pitted against the very system that is supposed to serve and protect us all?
JUSTICE begins first and foremost in the better parts of your heart, mind and soul. Rarely is it found at the end of a Judge’s gavel. It is your responsibility to create it, playing within the rules.
You’ll need help to do so – That’s the role of DivorcedDadMinute.com: To give you something to think about during your journey. It represents the best thinking on the subject of Divorced dads in Family Court. The principles you’ll learn are sound and have withstood the test of time with the fathers I have helped.
Our Family Court System is not perfect. Far from it. But our Court System is a far cry from that which you will find in many countries where there is no democracy. I know from first hand experience that the ideas and thinking you will hear in Divorced Dad Minute have been instrumental in Fathers in and out of Family Court.
* Returned children to their city when Mom tried to move away;
* Returned children to Dads when seized by Child Protection Services from Mom;
* Ensured "Moms" are arrested for assault of "Dads";
* Had Judges remove themselves from cases for a conflict of interest
In many of the above cases these fathers had no other choice but to learn what to do to obtain these orders using the strategies we teach them…Once upon a time, I was one of those Dads who could not afford a lawyer.
And that’s why we’ve built this resource – to leave no Dad behind. But more importantly, to leave no child behind, without the love their father,,,,
